Two years ago, I found out that my husband of 8 years was having an affair with a married coworker. It turned out that they got pregnant while we were married. I was devastated; we had no children of our own, although, I begged God for them. I wanted to end my life. I had no idea how God could make this any better, but like our God always does, He did. I began counseling and more importantly began depending on God for every breath. It was very hard and at times I thought that the pain would kill me. God showed me what I was made of. I drive a lot for work and I have WBCL on and it seemed that when I needed a song it came on. My favorite is Mended by Matthew West. There were so many days where I would cry and scream out to God between appointments. Eventually I would feel His peace throughout the heartache. I learned so much about myself and learned that I was co-dependent on my narcissistic husband, even though he was very abusive. He made me believe that everything was my fault and that he did nothing wrong. I never wanted to lose my family. I did everything I could and more to make things work out but that was not Gods plan for my life.
